Over 3 years later :)

I didn't realize that I had a blog from November 2006- but here it is , April 2010, and I will begin again!
Life is about beginnings. So much has happened since November 2006. In November 2007, I won Team BeachBody's 10,000 dollar success story contest and was able to get down to a total of 126lbs.
My father died a month after I won the award. I was so glad he got to see me be healthy and to be in the video, and to see me win. I also had to get a hysterectomy April 2008, a gall bladder removal June 2009 and was hospitalized in October 2009 with what I thought was a mini stroke but turned out to be something called complicated migraines.
After those health issues, and a few other things that were very difficult in my life, I realized that I have a food addiction. Like alcoholics turn to alcohol, crack heads turn to crack, I turn to food. It's nothing you can abstain from and it's all about keeping a balance.
Nearly 30 of my 126lbs came back on by March 2010. Sure I still had most of it off, but I was binging on 100 calorie packs and other "low fat" foods and while still working out, was putting on weight. The simple math goes like this- more calories in than out=weight gain. Plain and simple.
I started to feel like a huge failure but realized that I had to look at my weight issues not so much as a personal failure but as an issue of food addiction that needed real treatment- not just another "diet" or a quick fix.
I decided to call a place called the Renfew Center which is a world renowned eating disorder clinic founded in Philadelphia. They told me that they have an Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) and they would do an intake and see if my insurance would cover it.
Turns out that my insurance does cover it and I started 2 weeks ago- have been there for 6 session. I've learned a lot in that time but still have a way to go. I am now down 10lbs but that's just a side effect of not binging and not turning to food as comfort. I am also reading Geneen Roth's books about food addiction and am very excited for my new journey-and thrilled that my size 14 jeans don't HURT anymore! :)
I want to blog here- and I also have a facebook. Sometimes I feel that I give out TMI but it's part of who I am- so if it's something that someone is not comfortable with- I don't want to edit myself nor my thoughts because it's part of the healing process.

My second chance

My journey started on May 30th, 2006. I woke up in a great deal of pain- ended up in the ER of Frankford Torresdale hospital and stayed for five days. I found out that I was diabetic- I decided from that moment on that I was not going to be sad or feel sorry for myself. I realized that I had to take care of myself and not let myself die. I felt fortunate, happy, at peace...for the first time in a very long time - even though most people in a hospital would be distressed. I realized that I was given what so many other people are not given- and that is a 2nd chance.
One night when I could not sleep- I was watching one of the 8 channels that they charged 5 dollars a day for- lol- and saw an infomercial. Usually I run the other when during infomercials, but in this case- something drew me to it. It was Chalene Johnson's positive energy and the music. It was turbo jam. So I would not forget the name of it, I wrote it down on a piece of paper. When I left the hospital, I had a piece of paper with the words TURBO JAM written on it.... and scripts for tons of diabetes medications.
I joined weight watchers and bought turbo jam. Afraid that it would end up collecting dust bunnies, I knew there was a 30 day money back guarantee and figured I would use it. I didn't. From the first day I was hooked. What a fun workout- what a party. I also felt good about weight watchers... So many great people going through the same battle and food addiction.
In August, I took the chance and went to Turbo Kick Camp in Orange Co, California. I was terrified to go- but something told me to just do it anyway! I am so glad that I did- I met so many wonderful people - so much love and support- One of the best weekends of my life.
Now I am 66 pounds down.. some days are harder than others. I am off insulin and am no longer snoring. I have met the most incredible people and I am going to get certified to teach turbo jam in February.
So, what turned out to be a bad thing- being in the hospital and feeling so sick- turned out to be the best thing that could have happened to me.